Of course all that positive programming and changing of attitude doesn't instantly solve all your problems. You can't just say "I love myself now" and you suddenly do. It's a long process. And there will be setbacks.
Where it always showed in my life, was in relationship with guys. I always went for the bad boys, the ones that didn't show much interest. Who were obviously not into me. Or couldn't give me the emotional support I needed. I don't understand why, maybe because I am more used to the feeling of not being loved, than being loved.
Maybe these "wannabe" relationships are there so we are always reminded that we have to love ourselves so much that we can let go of everybody who doesn't. On a very philosophical level I believe we meet the people who are right for us in that particular moment. To show us who we are. And sometimes they might see what we refuse to see - that we are not a good match. Maybe they see how amazing we are, and they not on the same level. Whilst we torture ourselves thinking we are not good enough.
I recently read somewhere that a man has to see himself in his woman in order to understand the world. Maybe he doesn't see himself in us, because we are beyond his comfort zone.
I think that, not because I'm arrogant, but because when I distance myself from those guys for a while and look back, I see that they weren't better. Not even on the same level, but usually somewhere below what I should have gone for. Should go for, in order to have a healthy, equal, loving, supporting relationship.
What about you? Do you go for bad boys? Or do you find yourself in mutual loving relationships?
No matter what size you are, you can rock every style, just optimise it for your body type.
Style 1 & 2
Always wanted to wear leggins and tunics? Or skinny jeans? A skater dress? Just do it! If your have big thighs, wear longer tops. Or add a long cardigan. Play with different options. Try skinny jeans with ankle boots, a blouse and a long cardi. Pair them with converse and a short, floaty summer dress worn as a top, add a belt. Be playful, try things you would usually never try. Look around for inspiration. Primark, River Island and Top Shop have excellent stylists working on their shop window decoration. Those guys know how to combine and I copied a lot of their ideas.
Every new style needs "getting used to"-time. I test it out indoors (with lots of visits to the mirror) and if it feels ok, I wear it on a short walk to the supermarket. It took me quite some time to get used to skinny jeans. Now I love them, I don't understand why I always preferred wide leg trousers!
You don't have to buy those clothes right away. If you aren't sure about a jumpsuit, go try one on and take some pictures. Check them out a few times, ask your friends how they like you in it and try more in different varieties.
Rocking a new style can make you feel amazing, give it a go!
There are some instant cheats that can make you look and feel beautified. First and most important:
Never ever wear shapeless, oversized clothes.
Except you don’t mind looking a few pounds heavier. ;)
Stand in front of a mirror and wear a baggy shirt. Now try a belt underneath your bust or around your waist, depending on what part of your body is slimmer. Or just hold it tighter in the back to see the effect. Even though you might expose some bulky bits now, the overall look is definitely slimmer.
If you can't see the effect, try on sunglasses so your vision is slightly muted. Concentrate only on your outline and you will see the difference! Now take the sunnies off and enjoy the new you.
Find a middle way between baggy and too tight.
If you have the right clothes you can get away with only 10 pieces plus accessories to look different every day for weeks and weeks … and weeks!
Building a professional core wardrobe is a bit tricky and I found this little cheat works better for me. It’s like a core wardrobe but much, much easier.
First dive into your wardrobe and look for dark colours. Ideal colours are black, brown, grey, dark blue. Choose the one you have the most basic items
of. Do the same with your lighter colours. Look out for white, pale pinks or beige.
On top of that add one brighter colour like red, coral, blue, green or purple, whatever you have. You can add more, but I find with 3 it’s easiest to work.
List of 10 ideal basic items
- Simple blouse
- Sweatshirt or jumper
- Coat or MAC
- Long arm shirt
- Simple dress short/medium length
- Pair of jeans, trousers
- Blazer, hooded jacket or cardigan
Use tights, shoes, scarfs, jewellery and other accessories to create different styles for every day!
First base colour: dark blue
Second base colour: beige
Additional colour: red
I styled all these outfits on stylefruits.co.uk. Their outfit creator is such an epic tool! You can choose similar pieces to the ones you have in your wardrobe and try new styles by mixing them together online!
These are my 10 pieces
Now get those pieces rolling!