You wouldn’t ask a cocaine addict to have “just one line in the morning, one at lunch and one in the evening” ...
The only diet that works is the "Don't care about food anymore” diet. And I don’t mean not eating, I mean eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full.
Most overeaters don’t sense any of it. They don’t feel hunger (the real one, the one where your body asks for food). And they lose the ability to feel when they are full. That is because emotional eaters don’t use food in a natural way, but as a drug. To numb sadness, to feel better. They make use of the chemical reaction that happens in the body when you eat (especially carbs), which is similar to taking drugs. You wouldn’t ask a cocaine addict to have “just one line in the morning, one at lunch and one in the evening” to overcome their addiction. They have to absolutely and forever stay away from it. But food addicts, the people who use food the same way as drug or alcohol addicts use their drugs, are asked to “eat a little bit in the morning, a little bit at lunch and some in the evening.” And they are always surrounded by food and people who eat. That to me is the core of the whole diet/obesity problem.
Chocolate = overeater's cocaine?
Sweat it out of your system!
Bring up this topic and everybody knows a story about diets that really work. But take a closer look at those stories. For how long after their diet did they keep their new weight? Chances are, 2-3 years down the line they put it all back on (and more). Realistically, if your parents or grandparents are overweight, if you were a chubby toddler, if you were longer overweight than at your normal weight, you will have a hard time getting and keeping weight off with diets. If your ancestors are rather slim, you have always been at your right weight but just gained a few pounds (through pregnancy or a lazy time), chances are you can make it. - With nearly every diet. Because your body will naturally tend to get back to what it is used to over a long period of time.
There is a hidden trap with diets. If people who are at (or near) their perfect healthy weight for ages, go on diet after diet, they will destroy their inbuilt weight leveling system and start to jojo (weight goes off and on and off and on etc.). Therefore it's better to live with 5 kilo over your ideal weight forever, than messing up your absolute healthy body who knows how to deal with issues best when you don’t get involved.
If I had to suggest one of the countless diets I tried, I would choose Weight Watchers. Because it educates you to make better choices. And you lose weight because you eat - the right things and don't deprive yourself. I knew deep inside though, the key for me was to stop thinking about food all the time. And WW does the opposite. You plan your day, count points, think about what you can eat next, all day long. But at least you still lose weight if you are playing by their rules.
Another thing that will make you lose weight even if you don't change your eating habits, is fitness. Be more active, get sweaty. Any sport will have an all around positive effect on your health. It will make you feel happier. You will lose weight, it could become your new healthy drug and you could meet new, nice people too. Risk it!
If you have serious health problems, sort them out with your doctor. But most important: Become a happy, confident person. If you feel good, you don’t need food to make it so.
Do you know how it feels when you feel disgusted by your own body? It is as if it’s not a part of you. All the anger, fear, hate and pain you feel inside, you project onto your body. Onto being big and you call yourself disgusting, fat, useless, worthless, ugly, horrible and stupid.
I remember having fantasies about cutting fat off my tummy and hips with scissors.
I am not the only one, many girls and women feel like that. And you might be shocked or one of them.
there is a way out!
For the longest time I can remember I was obsessed with losing weight. I tried every diet on the planet. I found a diary from when I was 13 and I thought the boy I fancied would never like me because I was “so fat”. That was when I started my first real diet, one of hundreds that never had any effect other than me obsessing more and more about food and my body, losing some weight and gaining even more after.
I had my first real boyfriend when I was 17 and during that time it all calmed down a little, mainly because he loved me like I was. My body was still an issue for me, but dealing with family issues, finally living on my own and finding a career etc. took center stage at that time. It really started getting bad about 4 years later, when we split up. He had a new girlfriend and I couldn’t get over it for a long time. I found the reason very quickly – of course I wasn’t loveable. Certain childhood issues like feeling abandoned and not feeling loved/right got initiated. That’s probably when the self hate started to become really obvious and obsessing over my body and losing weight became the center point of my life.
I had always heaps of really good friends. And I felt accepted. I was popular, a good friend, intelligent, had a “pretty face”. I was funny, entertaining, a good listener, communicator, writer, saw a challenge and went for it. My confidence was good. But I almost felt as if I consist of my head only, I had no connection with my body. I avoided the mirror at all costs, that way I could keep up that kind of confidence.
I knew other big girls. All of them struggled with their weight and had insecurities. But nobody hated their body like I did. For a long time I thought I was the only one. I could not understand how you could be a big girl and still love your body. Some of them were my best friends and I loved them dearly. But I could not get it into my head that somebody could love me
, being so disgusting and fat and ugly.
The insecurity about my body always held me back. I was invited to a party, tried on 100 things, saw myself fat as a balloon and held hate speeches in my head about how ugly, fat and horrible I looked. I spiraled into such bad mood and deep sadness that I ended up not going. I never went to the beach or swimming pool. I didn’t allow many boys to get close, out of fear they would want to see and feel me naked one day. I had some short-ish relationships, it never worked out. I could not accept that anybody would love me like I was, and of course that always killed it. Strange world I stuck in.
There is definitely a way out, I know because I am out of it. It didn't help that everybody said I was beautiful, I couldn't see it. Here are some of the things that helped:
- I learned to change my view on what's really important in life.
- I had to look at my childhood issues and accept who I am.
- Knowing that there were others who felt the same.
- I stopped reading women's magazines.
- Sitting in a cafe looking at women passing by, realising that most of us are "imperfect".
- Looking at pictures of other big girls frequently.
- Having sex with men who prefer big girls.
I eventually learned to love myself and accept my body.
just get out
... and finding them beautiful.
Image-google "plus size models". Take a good look. See naked ones? Excellent. Get used to it. This is how big women look like naked. You will see chubby ones and really big ones. Try not to judge. Just look. Try to find something beautiful about everyBODY. Can you find a figure twin? Fantastic! Stalk her. Many of them are on instagram, get on there and look at her pictures. Check out her style. Copy. Don't forget though - because she is modeling, her pictures are still photoshopped, chances are you won't find much cellulite on her legs. But at least you have another, more realistic shape in mind when you compare yourself to someone.