One of the most important steps on our way to self-love is to open ourselves to the idea that we are perfect. Perfectly imperfect, exactly as we are. Look at who you are. Look at who you wish you were. If you are a tomboyish kind of girl, be that. Don't waste energy on trying to be girly. Not only will it be tiring to you and add to your feeling of "not being right", you will be perceived by others as insecure or "off". Only by being who you are, you radiate in such a wonderful way, that others will find you "interesting, captivating and confident." Without any effort on your side. Should you be on the lookout for a boyfriend, or new friends, this is extremely important too. You can only find the right people who will love you for being you, when you ARE you. Of course that requires some kind of self awareness. Become honest with yourself. Maybe you admire a beautiful, outgoing girl in your school. And you would love to be like her. But are you? Do you think you could if you were skinnier? Chances are you wouldn't. Girls who are like her are like that, no matter what size they are. Maybe you are a little introvert. Don't force yourself to be different. Accept who you are. The world needs bold and quiet people. Maybe this bubbly girl is not such a good artist, writer or listener as you are. Find things you are really good at. Focus on those traits. Once you find one, you will discover more. Are you a good friend? Talk about it, write about it, be it. At some point you will not even feel the need to compare yourself to others anymore. That's when you love yourself. And accept others for who they are. No more judgement.
The same principle as for becoming more confident applies: Fake it until you make it. tealswan.comMake this question you mantra: "What would someone who loves themselves do?" Any decision you are facing, big or small, ask this question and do what first comes to your mind. For example when you decide what to wear to school or work, ask "what would someone who loves themselves wear?" Listen to the answer that pops up in your head and then do it. That way you tell your subconscious mind that you love yourself. Because you act exactly like somebody who already does, according to your question and suggestion. The more often you do it, the faster it will eventuate. I interpreted this amazing practice developed by Teal Swan -
2012 was a year of change. I left a 7-year dead-end relationship and entered a 2-year on-and-off one, that caused a complete meltdown. During the first year I lost 80 lbs. Everybody complimented me on my weight loss. Well - yes, I lost weight. But I also went through the worst depression of my life, which everybody seemed to ignore. "At least you look so much better now that you lost weight, you must feel wonderful!" Ironically, I started loving myself as I was, so I didn't feel the need to lose more weight. It just continued because I couldn't eat anything for a while and my relation to food completely changed. I didn't notice any hunger during the day until I got stomach ache (that could be 4pm) And then I ate what I wanted. And I stopped when I was full. I continued to lose more and more weight and my skin started sagging. Upper arms, tummy, boobs, even my face lost shape. Of course I didn't want to go back to unhealthy eating habits of the past, but I didn't want to lose more weight either. Thankfully I managed to establish a routine and it leveled out. I gained about 20 lbs back. For the most part I consider myself healed from childhood wounds and self-hate. I feel confident, self-loving and content in my own body for the first time of my life. I love myself exactly as I am: soft, curvy and happy.