Some of you might be single. In fact, many beautiful men and women are single. For many different reasons. In your case, it's a no brainer - it's because you're big (= un-loveable). But in reality it might have more to do with not loving yourself. Being afraid of rejection, being hurt. Afraid of getting really close to somebody. As soon as you become your best friend however (and your most loving lover), you will attract people into your life who reflect that. You can have a great, loving relationship too. But you have to love yourself first. Everything else is a struggle. For you and for your partner. Imagine your boyfriend tells you how beautiful he thinks you are. You think he must be kidding, must be blind. You might not let him touch you, because you feel so insecure. You are under permanent inner stress, because you fear you are not good enough and could lose him. If he wants to go out with his friends, you are afraid he could find somebody better (because you are not worthy of his love). You might try to control and manipulate. Jealousy, stress and tension builds up and he might soon have enough. "See, he didn't love me!" you cry. But he did. You just couldn't believe it. You didn't love yourself. Start with loving yourself first. Watch this video. And you will see that if you have no boyfriend, you don't need one right now. And as soon as you love and appreciate yourself, you will attract someone who loves you too. And that time round, you can actually believe it. ;) www.youtube.com
In the early 90s I got a book as a present, “Domenicas Kopfkissenbuch" (Domenica’s pillowbook). Domenica was a famous German prostitute in Hamburg, where I lived. She became an activist who campaigned for the legalization of prostitution. In this book she talked about why men go to prostitutes and what “normal” girls and women could do to spice up their sex life at home. One chapter touched on body issues and being big. It changed my (sex) life. She basically said that if you get intimate with somebody, he already noticed your big bum and thighs and is probably looking forward to squeezing them. If you could just get over yourself and offer what you have to offer, instead of trying to find a position where you look the least big and squeeze your tummy in, you and your partner could have really great fun. So go on, say "f*** it, I’m going to enjoy this now!” and let go. Close your eyes and don't care about your position or showing your bum. Switch your brain off and be in the moment. Fake confidence! I promise you, boys find confident girls sexy. Don't think only because you don’t like big girls and hate your wobbly bits, the boy you are with should or does only “tolerate” your body. Some men prefer big girls, believe it or not! They like to squeeze and squash chunky tummies and bums, they love to see big thighs! There are good looking, intelligent, loving, caring, charismatic boys out there, who happen to prefer big girls! Or they don’t, but they simply don’t care because they fall in love with women’s inner beauty. Do you love his imperfections? Are you not into long hair but on him it's kind of cute? Do you hate feet but his are an exception? That's what love does to us. It makes us blind (to superficial things). It's so pure, it only cares for the soul, and everything else doesn't matter. That is the kind of love we all seek. That's the kind of lover you should look out for. Don't go for the first guy who shows interest! You can pick and choose just like everybody else. If a guy tells you that you are too big, if he asks you to loose weight or makes you feel insecure about yourself, he is not good for you. Don't tolerate men who treat you anything less than a princess!
You can be confident and feel good about yourself - how you look, your job, about being a good friend, being creative - and still don't feel worthy. Confidence is more about what you can do. Your abilities and how you interact with the world. Self-worth is connected to self-love. It goes much deeper. That’s why you can be confident and still lack self-worth. If you feel worthy, your confidence is usually up too. That’s because if you love yourself and know you are worthy of all the good things in life, chances are you believe in yourself and your abilities. Are you confident? Do you like yourself in the mirror? Do you know you are a good friend? Can you speak in front of your friends without feeling awkward? Do you laugh out loud when you find something funny? Can you speak in front of your class? Do you complain in a restaurant if something isn’t right? - You are probably confident. How about your self-worth? Do you know you deserve the best? Are you surrounded by people who love and accept you for who you are? A major question (and I think here it really shows): Are you with the right guys? If you always end up in unhealthy relationships - with boys that are messing around with you: cheaters, timewasters, guys who are not really into you, you might feel deep inside you are not good enough, not loveable. Here is the truth: You are worth it. You are good enough. You are loveable. You are worth loving. You deserve a loving relationship. You deserve being happy. Look in the mirror and say to yourself: I am worth it. I am good enough. I am loveable. I am worth loving. I deserve a loving relationship. I deserve being happy. Go on, DO IT! I know it seems daft at first. But if you do it for a while, it will change you. It’s not saying it, that does the change. But because you look at yourself and say it (as if it was true), your mind starts working on it. And that will bring the awareness and the change. I know it does, I experienced it myself. How about you, are you feeling worthy?